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Favorite One Liners

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.

If you cannot win, make the leader break the record.

A good supervisor is a guy who can step on your toes without messing up your shine.

One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.

The road to success is always under construction.

A smile happens in a flash, but the memory of it sometimes lasts FOREVER.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

An optimist is someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.

We are all manufactures - some make good, others make trouble and still others make excuses.

The man who rows the boat, generally doesn't have time to rock it.

He who calls first wins.

The energy of excellence is just being good.

There's no reason for it - it's just our policy.

Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.

THINK it may be a new experience.

Happy wife, Happy Life.

Investment precedes dividends.

Experience is a hard teacher because she give you the test first, and the lesson afterwards.

I don't know... but I'll find out..

If you don't know where you're going... Any road will get you there

The difference between a professional and an amateur is knowledge of and practice of the little things. - Arnold Palmer

Provide uncommon courtesy because common courtesy is uncommon.

If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times, does she become disoriented?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

What do chickens think we taste like

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?

Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?

If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?

Why is a bra singular and panties plural?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?